(Originally published on Facebook 12/5/14)
Love this song – it fills a spot in this grieving heart. This morning I happened to reread a journal entry I wrote July 10th. I was in a contemplative mood, I guess, because I wrote, “I get the impression that within the Christian community we believe the presence of peace equates to the absence of pain and sorrow. True peace, as I understand it, is the absence of fear – not the absence of pain, sorrow, anger, frustration, and a multitude of other emotions.” I can only think of one place in my Bible where God told someone not to mourn – Ezekiel 24: 15-27 – and as in everything else God does, there was a purpose. Ezekiel’s failure to grieve in the outward manner that was typical of the day, served as a powerful sign to the House of Israel. His unexpected, and obedient behavior ensured the prophecy God had given would be heard and remembered.
I thought I’d include the lyrics here. Words are important to me, Getting them right, matters. I think I’d change “I will shoulder the blame” to “I will shoulder the pain”, but then no one asked me!
I also added a few more comments after the lyrics – if you’ve managed to read this far, you might as well read those too!
Lyrics:
Sometimes your world just ends
It changes everything you’ve been
And all that’s left to be
Is empty, broken, lonely, hoping
I’m supposed to be strong
I’m supposed to find a way to carry on
And I don’t wanna feel better
And I don’t wanna not remember,
I will always see your face
In the shadows of this haunted place
I will laugh, I will cry, shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say goodbye
They keep saying time will heal
But the pain just gets more real
The sun comes up each day
Finds me waiting, fading, hating, praying,
If I can keep on holding on
Maybe I can keep my heart from knowing that you’re gone
And I don’t wanna feel better
I don’t wanna not remember
I will always see your face
In the shadows of this haunted place
I will laugh, I will cry, shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say goodbye
I will curse, I will pray, I will re-live everyday
I will show through the blame
I’ll shout out your name
I will laugh, I will cry, shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say
Will not say goodbye
I will not say goodbye
I will not say…
It’s true, sometimes I don’t want to feel better – but, not all the time. It is also a comfort to know that I don’t have to say good-bye. As a believer in Christ, in spite of pain in the loss, I Do Not Grieve As One Without Hope! Therefore, See you soon is far more accurate than good-bye or as the ever bouncy Tigger of Winnie the Pooh fame (the first known individ . . . er, cartoon character, known to use “chat speak” in everyday conversation) was known to say, TTFN – Ta ta for now!
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