Tag Archives: thelifeididntchoose

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks for Listening!

My virtual friend, Melanie, simply shares my heart, my brokenness, my faith, my struggle and my purpose for blogging. She has much to offer the bereaved and those who care for them, on a foundation of sound doctrine.

Melanie, has been such a blessing to me personally. Everything she writes echoes a chord within my soul. In this post, she touched on the one thing I have been too vulnerable – too afraid to share – that need – that craving, for ongoing support.

I hope you will read Melanie’s post and visit her blog at God is working and ministering to brokenhearted parents worldwide through her struggle.


One year ago today I began sharing my grief journey publicly on this blog.


You can read that first post here.

It was (and still is) scary to expose my thoughts and feelings to a wider audience than just the pages of my personal journal.

I’m never certain that what is helpful for me is necessarily helpful for anyone else.  But in writing it down I find that I am able to sort through things better than when I leave it bouncing around in my own head space.

I decided upfront that I would be as honest as possible about what I felt and how I was coping.  I wasn’t sure if I would post only a few times or a lot, if it would turn into a day-by-day diary or a more sweeping revelation of deeper things.

I think it’s kind of been both at times.


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Posted by on September 16, 2016 in Faith, Grief


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Silence Doesn’t Serve Anyone Well

Silence Doesn’t Serve Anyone Well


One of the reasons I write is to share my grief experience with others.

I realized when tossed into the ocean of sorrow that of all the things I had heard about or read about, surviving child loss was never mentioned.  

Oh, someone might comment that so-and-so had LOST a child, but then the conversation quickly moved on to more comfortable topics.

But if we don’t talk about it, we can’t learn to live through it.

Silence doesn’t serve anyone well.

I agree with Mr. Rogers:

Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”
― Fred Rogers


During the course of my lifetime I have seen many topics dragged from…

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Posted by on June 24, 2016 in Faith, Grief


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Job’s Comforters

Job’s Comforters

Insight on what might unconsciously lead a sincerely sympathetic, well-intended believer to inadvertently join the ranks of Job’s miserable comforters.

Serious food for thought here as every follower of Jesus Christ does well to examine the motivations of the heart before they speak and act. This is an area with which I personally struggle and it’s complicated by the truth that we are often driven by conflicting motivations. A sincerely righteous desire marred by sinful selfishness – at least in my case.

I am so thankful that I have the privilege of walking through the valley of the shadow of death with Melanie. It’d be my preference than neither her nor I, or any other parent for that matter, ever find themselves on this path, but this heartbroken mother has served as a blessing and encouragement to me and many other grieving parents. She turns our hearts and minds back to the lover of our souls when our hearts are torn between longing for God’s presence and comfort and a desire to hold Him at arm’s length for failing to intercede and prevent our suffering.

(Clink on the link entire “view the original post” highlighted in red below to read the article and “thelifeididntchoose” to access Melanie’s blog.)  


Most of us know the story of Job.

A righteous man, singled out by Satan to be tempted, ends up bereft of his children, his fortune and his health.

Sitting in the dust, scraping the pus from his wounds, three friends join him in his misery.

And they make it worse.

It’s hard to imagine that after burying a child, anything that people say or do can make you feel worse-but it is possible.

I had many friends and family that brought genuine comfort to my spirit.

They were the ones who spoke courage to my battered heart and helped me face another day when all I wanted to do was crawl under the covers and pray that the sun refused to shine.  And I will never be able to repay them for that kindness.

But there were others….people who wanted to make sense of a senseless tragedy.

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Posted by on May 16, 2016 in Adversity, Faith, Grief, Links


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You Existed, You Exist

You Existed, You Exist

The desire of every bereaved heart: my loved one was important and remains so still today, two years or ten years later, regardless of their length of life. . .

(Clink on the link highlighted in red entitled “view original post” below to read the full article and “thelifeididntchoose” to access the blog.)  


Sometimes this thought is  what gets me through the day:

You existed, you exist.

Sometimes I say it to his photo on my phone:

You existed, you exist.

Sometimes I want to scream it out the window:


My son is not a number or a statistic or only a memory.

He is integral to my story, blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh–part of my life.

I rest assured he lives in heaven with Jesus but I miss him here with me. That’s selfish, I know.  But I can’t seem to help it.

I don’t know how to be glad that my young, healthy, brilliant child died-just like that-here one moment, gone the next.

The broken heart of every parent who has buried a child cries out:

My child existed..

He lived.

He mattered.

My child exists still.

He lives.

He matters.


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Posted by on March 12, 2016 in Faith, Grief, Links



God of the Day and God of the Night

This article was originally published on The Life I Didn’t Choose. Everyone will eventually experience times of darkness in life. Regardless of the cause, this post has value for every believer.

I was afraid of the dark until I was almost forty years old. My fear was rooted in scary childhood moments and even years of adult experience could not rip it from the soil of my psyche. I never co…

(Link highlighted in red below.)

Source: God of the Day and God of the Night

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Posted by on March 3, 2016 in Adversity, Faith, Links


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