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Tag Archives: Pity Party

Girl, Who’s Your Daddy?

31 Aug

If you don’t want to take the time to watch this three minute video, below is a paraphrased transcript. I thought you might like to have Priscilla’s answer to her own question. 

I added my own comments below the transcript.

“When you feel like you can’t handle the task at hand; and you ask yourself, Girl, who’s your daddy’s?. . ., And what if, when you got a good look at your God, remembering who He is and that you belong to Him, listen, I think until the Lord stops me from taking platforms and ministering to women, I will say this until the day I die, reminding myself as I do when I am quietly alone and I look myself in the mirror and say, Girl who’s your daddy?; you know what I tell myself, I tell       myself… ”

“He is the First and the Last. The Beginning and the End. He’s the Keeper of creation and the Creator of all. He is the Architect of the universe and the Manager of all time. He always was, always is and always will be unmoved, unchanged, undefeated, and never undone. He was bruised but brought healing. He was pierced but eased pain. He was persecuted but brought freedom. He was dead and brings life, risen to bring power, and He reigns to bring peace.”

“The world can’t understand Him. Armies can’t defeat Him. Schools can’t explain Him. And leaders, they can’t ignore Him. Herod couldn’t kill Him. Nero couldn’t crush Him. The new age cannot replace Him. And Oprah cannot explain Him away!”

“You remind yourself that He is Light, He is Love, He is Longevity, and He is the Lord.”

“He is goodness and kindness and faithfulness and He is God.”

“He is Holy and Righteous and powerful and pure.”

“His ways are right, His Word eternal, His will unchanging and His mind is on us.”

“He’s our Savior, our guide, our peace, our joy, our comfort, our Lord and He rules our lives!”

“I serve Him because His bond is love, His yoke is easy, His burden is light and His goal for us is abundant life.”

“I follow Him because He’s the Wisdom of the wise, the Power of the powerful, the Ancient of days, the Ruler of rulers, the Leader of all leaders.”

“His goal is a relationship with me.”

“He’ll never leave you, never forsake you, never mislead you, never forget you, never overlook you, and never cancel your appointment in His appointment book.”

“When you fall He’ll lift you up. When you fail He’ll forgive you. When you’re weak He’s strong, when you’re lost He’s your way, when you’re afraid He’s your courage, when you stumble He will steady you, when you’re hurt He’s going to heal you. When you’re broken He will mend you. When you’re blind He will lead you. When you’re hungry He will feed you. When you face trials He’s with you.”

“When I face persecution He shields me. When I face problems He will comfort me. When I face loss He will provide for me. And when we face death He will carry us all home to meet Him.”

“is everything, for everybody, everywhere, every time and in every way.”

“He is your God and that, Sisters, is who you belong to.”

 

I don’t know about you, but every morning when I crawl out of bed, I know I can’t handle the task at hand. But, I do know,… I do know that I can trust in the One who is able…

the thing is…

I don’t want to.

Or more accurately, I don’t want to have to, or need to, trust in Him for the task at hand.

I don’t want to go where my life is leading…

At All!

I just don’t want to go there.

And, given my history—given the prognosis that lies ahead for my daughter, can you blame me? Can you really think that all I’m doing is throwing the longest lasting pity party known to man?

Really?

If that’s what you think…

it’s not personal to you.

Try to imagine living with my daily reality—not the deaths of my three kids—not the progressive disease that is destroying my surviving child’s body—No, not that. Put your children’s faces on those bodies. Imagine you are really living my daily life.

And if…

if…

you still think I’m throwing a pity party, then, please, keep your criticism and judgement to yourself. Because…

Every.

Single.

Day.

I need to…

Remind myself…

Who My Daddy Is.

Every Day.

That doesn’t make what’s coming my way okay.

Not at all.

But…

It makes it bearable…

most of the time.

I need Priscilla Shirer’s answer. I need her words. I need the reminder of exactly who my Daddy is.

Maybe you need her words too…

Who’s Your Daddy? by Priscilla Shirer

Taken from the DVD Bible Study Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed. A Study of David. Video Session 1. By Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arthur.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 31, 2016 in Faith

 

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Pity Party or Grief – That’s the Question

11 Feb
Crying Woman – depression

What exactly is a Pity Party?  That’s a question I have asked myself over and over again. In what other way will I know if I am throwing one of epic proportions?

Maybe I would have been better served to ask myself why I’d ever entertain the idea that my grief, in any way, could be construed as a pity party.  But I think I know the answer to that question.  It’s because a few brave souls have gently suggested such a thing.  Might you be simply enjoying a pity party, Janet?

Okay, as offensive as I find that question, I’ve chosen to take time to seriously consider it. Have I crossed the line from grieving to donning sackcloth and ashes in an outward display of grief for the purpose of inciting others to feel sorry for me?  In order to determine the answer to that question I first need to figure out the difference between grief and a pity party.  So I googled my way to a reasonable definition for both terms which you will find below.  If you get the chance though you really should take the time to see the Urban Dictionary’s top definition for a pity party.  It’s a nice and fairly accurate tongue-in-cheek definition that simply proved to be a bit lengthy for my purposes.

The Oxford Dictionaries defines a pity party as:

“An instance of indulging in self-pity or eliciting pity from other people.”

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And medicinenet.com defines grief as:

“The normal process of reacting to a loss. The loss may be physical (such as a death), social (such as divorce), or occupational (such as a job). Emotional reactions of grief can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and despair. Physical reactions of grief can include sleeping problems, changes in appetite, physical problems, or illness.”

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Grief is about loss.  It’s about the intrinsic value of life, hopes, dreams and expectations. But today, I want to talk about life.

In my personal opinion, the idea that any single life is less valuable than another ultimately devalues all life.

We live in a culture that has become unconsciously and yet increasingly ambivalent toward the value of human life.  Why?  Maybe because abortion in the form of the Morning After Pill or the prevalence of far more invasive procedures combined with the recent Death with Dignity legislation is to blame.  Abortion and euthanasia have rendered life valuable primarily in terms of cost and convenience.  The subtle message that invades our hearts is that only the wanted, and the healthy have value in this world.  But what happens when the wanted become unwanted? Unmanageable? Inconvenient? Unhealthy? Too costly?  What then?

At the same time we live in a fast moving society.  The technology age with the advent of microwaves to microprocessors, has sped our ability to acquire, use and process data and shorten the waiting period for a vast number of things.  We are impatient people.  We want what we want now and fully anticipate the ability to achieve success or resolve problems post haste!  Now!  Yesterday!

IMG_4836But some things in life cannot be rushed.  Some things simply take as long as they take, which doesn’t seem to prevent us from feeling frustrated with the wait or pushing ourselves and others to shorten the amount of time to accomplish a given task. And that impatience has spilled over into every area of our lives including the expression of grief. A new definition can be added to Oxford Dictionaries definition of a pity party. It reads something like this: A term applied to an individual’s behavior when society and has lost patience with someone who has suffered a loss of grievous proportions.

The normal response to loss has been reduced to indulgent self-pity.  No, you say, that can’t be true.  But how often have you heard the grief stricken encouraged to “move forward” or “let it go”?

The difference between self-pity and grief is that self-pity is largely a matter of choice. And frankly, I don’t want your pity, and I haven’t met many bereaved parents who do. The bereaved want and need understanding, their feelings validated and they want and need affirmation – not pity. But let me be very clear on this:  Those who mourn can and will suppress their grief for a variety of reasons. Societal pressure, holding it together for spouses and children, caring for those who may be injured or aging, or because they need help processing it and are afraid or unwilling to seek counseling.  And while it might appear from the outside that this individual has completed the mourning process that is patently untrue. Unresolved grief lies in wait. Unresolved grief creates new problems. Unresolved grief is not healing, it’s harmful to oneself and to other relationships. Unresolved grief often leaves an individual incapable of talking about their loss, wounded yet diligently clinging to a positive perspective, and spiritually inconsolable or amputated for lack of a better way to describe that area of the heart that is walled off and God is refused entry.

Mourning the loss of a significant loved one should never, ever be confused with a pity party.  Grief is a normal and healthy response that testifies to the innate value of every life.  That is why parents grieve following a miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death.  All lives matter regardless of their duration or perceived contribution to this world.  All lives have value.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on February 11, 2016 in Faith, Grief

 

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