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Common Thoughts and Feelings of Grieving Parents 

02 May

This morning I opened the Facebook app on my iPad and started scrolling through my news feed. A post from a grief site caught my attention so I ducked over to the loss of a child FB page and started scrolling. . . 

And my heart broke all over again.

As I scrolled through the posts I read such raw anguish. . . 

I heard my own thoughts echo back through the words of others.

Despair.
Discouragement.
Defeat.
How did this happen?
How could this have happened?
Why did this happen?
Who am I now?
What am I doing?
Why can’t I get it together?
How do I go on? . . . Do I even want to?

I’m so angry!
I feel numb. . . detached . . . lonely.
I have no friends left.
If I’m not happy others don’t want to be around me.

And so it goes. . . so many pain filled thoughts and feelings.

And I’ve put my emotional armor on.

I read these things and give a knowing intellectual nod to each one . . . 

But I refuse to draw any closer.

I refuse to engage my emotions.

I can’t shoulder their pain along with my own.

Today, 

I have nothing to give.

My arms are so weighted that I cannot reach back for the one who so desperately needs a hand to hold.

I’m still broken.

And yet,

I feel guilty and ashamed that I can’t formulate words of hope, support and encouragement for another hurting parent.

Not today.

The words just won’t come.

Maybe tomorrow. . . 

But what of all those hurting souls that need a word today?

I am so thankful for the many bereaved parents who step up and in on the days I can’t. Those who are there for me and others with understanding, encouragement and sometimes righteous indignation.

I’d never wish another parent into the child loss community, but I am so very thankful that I’m not alone.

And on the days when I am weak – when the well is dry, others are stronger and extend the hand of courage to the weak and the wounded.

I need the Holy Spirit to fill me before I can be poured out once again for another.

We need each other.

How we need each other!

 
7 Comments

Posted by on May 2, 2017 in Grief

 

Tags: , ,

7 responses to “Common Thoughts and Feelings of Grieving Parents 

  1. joanmariewriting41457

    May 2, 2017 at 6:00 am

    ♥️ Loving hugs and prayers with every breath

    Like

     
  2. Hopeful

    May 2, 2017 at 8:09 am

    The club no one wants to belong to is incredibly bonding, perhaps because we “get it” and none of wanted to join, we cling to each other & our Lord.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  3. bereavedparentsblogJude

    May 2, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    Definitely describes what I have been feeling of late. Haven’t even been able to write. Sooo very drained by all the pain. (((HUGS)))

    Like

     
  4. Bob Cancelliere

    May 2, 2017 at 5:51 pm

    I lost a daughter when she was 14 years old. I took comfort in knowing that she was in a better place, with her Maker. The sadness I was feeling was for my loss and her memory is with me always.

    Like

     
  5. taeballerina

    May 2, 2017 at 9:18 pm

    Janet thank you for sharing your journey. I really appreciate your emotions and your thoughts…it helps me to have more compassion and understanding of a journey I pray i dont have to travel.
    I don’t have the right words but I continue to pray for you, David and Graven. I am grateful that the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf with groanings.

    Like

     
    • Janet Boxx

      May 3, 2017 at 5:36 pm

      Thank you for your prayers for my family. I am humbled by those who invest their hearts and time in us and our needs. And thank you also for cultivating a teachable spirit so that you can more effectively minister compassion and understanding to others. I can’t tell you how it impacts a bereaved parent when they encounter someone who validates their feelings and affirms their efforts to heal even when that means wrestling with their faith. It’s an incredible gift and I appreciate your caring heart!

      Liked by 1 person

       
  6. ianspirationblog

    May 21, 2017 at 6:20 pm

    Gosh, this rings true for me. The ebb and flow of grief dictates my ability to reach out to others. I pray I can help others the way I’ve been helped by so many in our unfortunate community through encouraging words. Thank you for this post.

    Like

     

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