Hi! My name is Janet Boxx. I’m a wife, a mother and a follower of Jesus Christ. Like many of you, my life has not been a walk in the park. It’s been challenging in a number of ways and has caused me to examine my beliefs, almost everything I thought I knew about God, with what His word actually says about Him. I’m comfortable with my struggle, but well, I’m afraid that other believers may not be comfortable with my confrontational approach as I question and search for understanding.
I am in desperate need of real answers, real truth, and am a big believer in authenticity. Therefore, I’m not known to “drink the kool-aid” so to speak. I hate platitudes and simplistic answers to complicated issues. I believe the Bible is the inspired, infallible word of God, and that every word is “profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness” just as 2 Timothy 3:16 proclaims. Heaven knows I don’t always get it right, and at times I concede that I cannot find an answer, at which point I choose to trust that the Holy Spirit will reveal it in time or that He will enable me to find peace in spite of my questions. I’m open to others questioning my conclusions, I just ask that questions and comments are not worded as an attack. Feel free to point me to another scripture and ask that I consider it in light of the conclusions I’ve drawn.
A little background may help you understand my blog posts, so here is my life in a nutshell. I married my husband, David, in 1987. Our son, Cole, was stillborn on Father’s Day, June 21, 1992. We went on to have three beautiful daughters. Bethany was born in November of 1993, Gracen in December of 1995, and Katie arrived in October of 1997.
We noticed some developmental concerns when Gracen was about a year of age. Katie developed similar issues around her first birthday as well. Their physical issues were minor and the pediatrician was not concerned. But as Gracen and Katie grew, the physical issues became more pronounced, affecting both their fine and gross motor functions which impacted daily life and learning. Fifteen years and multiple doctor’s appointments and tests later, in the spring of 2012, we finally received a diagnosis. Gracen and Katie had been born with a rare form of Muscular Dystrophy. ARSACS is a progressive neuromuscular disease. The prognosis was not pretty and we were devastated. I had so hoped a diagnosis would lead to a cure – a medication or treatment that would give the girls a normal life. During that fifteen-year time span, Gracen also developed chronic daily migraine headaches. Life was challenging, to say the least.
The day after Christmas 2013, life got harder. As we returned home from celebrating Christmas with family, our van was involved in a three-vehicle collision. Bethany and Katie died that afternoon. My first blog post was written a few months later, in March of 2014. I’ve edited that post in order to correct minor details that I was unaware of when it was originally written and posted on Facebook. Otherwise, it remains as it was.
My hope is that my posts will serve to validate the feelings of others who are struggling with difficult circumstances and trying to assimilate their feelings and beliefs, as they too, try to hold on, get through, and avoid bitterness.
So welcome to our world. Join me as I continue to live life in the Refiner’s fire. In and out I go as God allows the dross to rise and be swept away until He can see His reflection as He looks upon me. Please share your thoughts (speaking the truth in love) and let iron sharpen iron as we banter back and forth struggling our way through this life until God calls us home.